HEARTBREAK to HEALED

A 6-week group program for women who want healthy empowering relationships

There are good men out there sister, but you keep getting your heart broken.  

We’re going to suss out exactly why (WHY?) and course correct with a personalized “Love Map” that will guide you toward the real, genuine, empowered love you deserve.

Get a plan and get the guy! 

* NEW DATES ADDED! A Second Cohort has been created with live calls on  WEDNESDAYS, starting May 31st 6-7:30pm CET (Paris time) for 6 weeks! *

Does this sound familiar?

  • It seems like the guys you like just don't like you
  • You're fed up with online dating
  • You're worried all the good ones are taken
  • You're done accepting "crumbs" 
  • You feel like you've been dating the same person again and again with a different face
  • You're so tired of being disappointed that sometimes you just don't even want to try  

 READY FOR AN END TO ALL THAT?

              Imagine if you could..

  • IDENTIFY EXACTLY WHAT HAS BEEN HOLDING YOU BACK and feel the relief of knowing you're not alone
  • DISCOVER THE CAUSE OF ALL THIS HEARTACHE and really see how it's not your fault
  • LET GO OF THE PAST and move forward with clarity and a clean slate 
  • LOVE YOURSELF MORE by practicing the exquisite self care you deserve
  • RELY ON YOUR OWN PERSONALIZED LOVE MAP knowing that you are headed towards love and whatever comes up, you've got this! 

Here's exactly how you get there!

HEARTBREAK to HEALED

A 6 week group program for women who want healthy empowering relationships

JOIN THE COURSE

This course is for you if you identify with one or more of the following...

  • you feel like you've made destructive choices by picking the “wrong” men 
  • you feel shut down around sex, love and dating 
  • you have dated guys thinking you could change them 
  • you fear you will never be attracted to secure, consistent, stable partners or that they won’t be attracted to you and you’ll be alone for that reason 
  • you struggle with the beginning stages of dating 
  • you have a fear of being alone and/or a fear of losing yourself in a relationship 
  • you worry about pressuring guys with your wants and needs 
  • you have struggled to let go of men who you know are not good for you 
  • you’ve been “out of the game” for a long time 
  • you go too fast with sex, love and dating 

Who it's not for...

  • This course is not a quick fix. We will not provide you with the rules. With guidance and support you will be developing your own “Love Map.” This “Love Map” is personal and specific to you and will be created in alignment with your values, purpose and vision. This means you’ll need to participate. If you are not ready to engage, this course is not for you.
  • This course is for self-identified women and is gender specific. Because same sex relationships, polyamory and non-binary dynamics are complex and I am not the ideal instructor for such a course, we will not be able to adequately address that in our time together.  
  • This course is non-clinical and is not a replacement for therapy. This course is for women who, if they have survived sexual abuse or violence, or have another mental health diagnosis, have addressed and/or continue to address this outside of this group.
  • Any therapeutic issues that arise will be referred back to your qualified helping professional or support person to assist you to resolve. Significant instructor outside class time support (emails, phone calls, crisis management) are not included in this class, but brief connections to resolve any issues related to the group are included. 

By the end of this 6 week course you will:

  • Identify the motivations, patterns, cycles, beliefs, expectations, roles, and influences that have kept you stuck around sex, love and dating.
  • Gain a deep understanding of yourself and all of what you’re struggling with and a clear insight into why this has manifested in your life.
  • Create a solid vision for the relationship you want and know what recovery around that means for you.
  • Write a new “Love Map” to guide you every step of the way as you move back into sex love and dating with a plan to keep you from falling into old patterns.
  • Be on the other side of it to the extent that, while you still do work, you can easily recognize your story but not act on it and feel more capable and confident with whatever comes up.

Still Thinking About It? 

You should give HEARTBREAK TO HEALED a shot
if you’re motivated by any of the following: 

You are so done being alone. Like, really really done.  

Whether it’s a series of unfulfilling relationships or years of being the only one at the company Christmas party without a “significant other,” you’re aware (painfully, excruciatingly aware) that you’ve done all you know how to do to create the lovelife you deserve and it’s just not happening.  

More importantly, you’d prefer not to spend the rest of your life wondering what might have been if you had just done the frigging work.

Owning our stories is hard, but not as hard as running from them for the rest of our lives would be. You know this!  

That’s why you are motivated beyond measure to spend the next few weeks devoting a few hours a week to that beautiful heart of yours, knowing that while you may not find “the one” by the end of this course, you damn well may become the one.  

Take a sneak peek at what's inside

Week 1, Module  1

Overview - How Does Your Brain Look in Love?

  • Understand and Define Relationship and Intimacy Disorder and Addiction 
  • Learn about Neurochemistry and Emotional Regulation 
  • Begin to Identify Our Unskillful Coping Mechanisms 

Here’s why it pays to learn from someone who has gone before you. I’ve been where you are and I know how hard it is to understand what is going on. So I’m going to lay it out for you starting with a little science. You’ll get several worksheets for homework that will help you to identify how all this is manifesting for you personally.

 We’ll also be setting you up for success with a Wingwoman Pod. Each of you will be connected with another woman or several who are also going through the course. You will be each other’s compassionate ear, enthusiastic cheerleader, and non-judgemental sounding board. Specific rules for engagement will be provided, including a written pledge of confidentiality which applies also to HeartSpring community and any future events. 

Week 2, Module 2

More Than Plaid and Polkadots - How do you identify?

  • What Mistakes Have We Been Making?  
  • Spot Problem Behavior 
  • Understand “Come Here” Vs. “Go Away” 

Here we begin to observe our habits, patterns and cycles. We will learn about what constitutes an “addiction.” We’ve all made mistakes, and of course we can only learn from them if and when we are willing to take a clear-eyed look at our part in things. The homework for this week will help us look back over our actions and identify ones that we might rather not continue. We will look at how we have been clinging or avoiding and how we may have operated outside our own value system at times.

Week 3, Module 3:

Culture, Family of Origin, & Attachment - What have you learned about love?

  • Understand how Culture has Affected our Ideas about Love
  •   Learn What Family of Origin Teaches us about Love - Attachment Basics
  • Explore Roles, Beliefs, Expectations and Patterns in relationships 

In this module we will explore Roles, Beliefs, Expectations and Patterns in relationships. People talk a lot about the “tip of the iceberg,” here we will talk about the rest of the iceberg. The homework in this module will help you identify the map you have been following up until now.

Week 4, Module 4

Withdrawal - How Do We Let Go?

  • Understand and Define Withdrawal  
  • Learn Tools for Getting Through Withdrawal  
  • Identify New Standards, Triggers, and Rituals 

If we are to truly change the way we operate in relationships, we must let go of our old way of doing things. This is a process of stepping away from our old coping mechanisms and identifying new ways of soothing ourselves when problems do arise.

Week 5, Module 5

Rebuilding - Where Does Change Begin?

  • Building Healthy Intimacy - New Standards of Behavior 
  • Review Your Past Work - Positive Opposites 
  • Building Your Love Map - Exquisite Self Care 

As we near the end of our time together we will review our work so far. This work is our foundation for the love map we will each create for ourselves. We will go within for guidance, knowing that is where we find our direction. Here’s where the “Love Map” comes in! Get ready for the game-changer ya’ll!

Week 6, Module 6

Empowering Relationships- A Map For Success!

  • Building Your Love Map - Your Vision 
  • Building Your Love Map - Your Purpose 
  • Onward - How Will You Get There? 

In this final workshop we will discuss together where we are at and share our progress - how have we healed? We will refine our “Love Maps” together and prepare to move forward as confident, capable badass women, knowing we are lovable and juicy and radiant!

"I have now been dating my boyfriend for 9 months..."

A year ago I was really struggling with internet dating; my single friends were saying "just don’t even bother, it’s awful” and my friends in relationships were saying “you’re so lucky, it’s such fun.”

Having come out of a divorce and an intense rebound relationship, I needed some guidance!

I was continuing to date with people that I wasn’t sure about and struggling to cut things off. I didn’t know what I wanted and I was addicted to dating apps, losing hours scrolling and then having to stop for weeks to be able to breathe again. Finding balance was tough and I was riddled with self doubt - was I even able to hold onto a relationship?!

I was also struggling with holding dating and feminism together - leaning into what felt good but also maintaining my feminism - I didn’t know how to do that. The strategy we developed really helped me to evaluate the guys I was dating and gave me vocabulary to be able to name what I was feeling. Dufflyn gave great advice about setting my calendar up for success!

 I have now been dating my boyfriend for 9 months. He is a star and I am very excited about our future together! I wouldn’t have found myself (and also him!) without Dufflyn’s help.

Lauren, London, UK

What You'll Get:

Here's what to expect from this course:

  •  3 New Video Lessons per week 
  • Downloadable PDF Worksheets 
  • LIVE weekly 90-minute sessions 
  • The exclusive personalized "Love Map" plan for personal empowerment
  • A proven strategy to recognize what has been blocking you from the love life you deserve
  •  Guidance and resources to release the old stuff and make room for the new  

PLUS these bonuses will help you generate momentum and empower you to complete this life-changing work

Wingwoman Pods

I will match you up with 2-3 other participants and provide you with a structure to meet weekly for additional accountability, encouragement and community.You'll be each others sounding boards and cheerleaders inside the course. 

First month of HeartSpring Community included

 To begin immediately after your 6 week experience with HEARTBREAK to HEALED. Includes access to the HeartSpring Resource Library of Special Guest Recordings and extensive Worksheets! 

Lifetime access to this course and all future updates

Plus you'll be the first to know when there are updates to the course with lifetime access.

(Freaking Priceless!)

I cannot wait to walk  you through these 6 inspiring weeks

When I began this journey I was out of my MIND y'all

 I mean I had left a 9 year on/off relationship and jumped into a “thing” with another man, only to be ghosted by him. I was obsessed and humiliated and so so sad.

If I was just 5 pounds skinner! If I was funny enough and smart enough What's-His-Name would want me.

I read all the dating books. I went to all the workshops and classes and summits. I did YEARS of therapy. And it all came down to this: surrender. 

In the Fall of 2015 I went to Paris to work on a project. I was finally willing to try things another way.  

I had my love map. And I was not going to accept less than what I knew I deserved.

So when I met Benjamin, I was ready.

This time I chose this time from my worth, rather than from my wound.  

This course is the accumulated sum of my wisdom, research, training and personal work.

I offer it to you with the hope that you too will find your path to the love you dream of.

 I look forward to connecting with you inside HEARTBREAK to HEALED.  

Xo Bisous,  
Dufflyn   

TEACH ME TO CHOOSE FROM MY WORTH

ONE TIME PAYMENT

$797

  • 6 LIVE 90-minute group sessions 
  • Downloadable PDF Worksheets for each Module 
  • The exclusive personalized "Love Map" and plan for personal empowerment 
  • Prerecorded Video Lessons Every Week
  • BONUS: Lifetime Access 
  • BONUS: Wingwoman Pods 
  • BONUS: 1st Month of HeartSpring Community FREE
  • INCLUDES: One 50-minute Private Coaching Session with Dufflyn to review your Love Map

TWO PAYMENTS

$411

  • 6 LIVE 90-minute group sessions 
  • Downloadable PDF Worksheets for each Module 
  • The exclusive personalized "Love Map" and plan for personal empowerment 
  • Prerecorded Video Lessons Every Week 
  • BONUS: Lifetime Access 
  • BONUS: Wingwoman Pods 
  • BONUS: 1st Month of HeartSpring Community FREE
  • INCLUDES: One 50-minute Private Coaching Session with Dufflyn to review your Love Map
“Dufflyn Lammers gave me my husband..."

I think it’s drastic to say something like “Dufflyn Lammers gave me my husband,” but there is truth to that statement. I really had some problems with dependency, codependency and addictive behaviors and she helped me see what my needs were with clarity and particularly just letting me see who my best self is.

Maggie, California, USA

"Dufflyn asked hard questions that made me think..."

I felt safe from the beginning. Dufflyn was very easy to talk to, she listened, and she asked hard questions that made me think. She reframed what I said so that I really heard what I was really saying. She remembered everyone's name that was involved. She was prepared and had a goal for each meeting which I like. She was great.

Fran, Florida USA

"I LOVE the videos and going through the exercises..."

I LOVE the videos and going through the exercises. There is so much space in the course to think about myself, my growth, my learning, my visions for myself and my relationships. That feels really hopeful and helpful. Letting go and returning to myself is such a profound lesson I need to be reminded of again and again and again.

Jamie, New York, USA

YOUR INVESTMENT IS FULLY BACKED BY OUR SATISFACTION GUARANTEE

 I have had clinical supervision in creating it. And have used this same process with many women to achieve a dramatic transformation.  The community I have been able to develop with previous programs at She Recovers, CIR, and in my Thriving In Captivity course show me also that YOU are a big part of what makes it all work. Becoming part of an extraordinary group of women is not the least of what is offered here.  

By the first 10 days you will have received access to WEEK 1, MODULE 1 and WEEK 2, MODULE 2 and the rich information provided there. You’ll have had the opportunity to experience what the course will be like and to begin the journey for yourself and with your Wingwoman Pod. Even if you stop at this point, you will have gained great insight into what has been blocking you from the love life you deserve and you will know you are not alone.  

 If you don’t feel confident you can move forward and complete the course to not only recognize, but finally release and at last rebuild what needs rebuilding, I will refund your investment. You will be expected to show me your completed homework assignments for both weeks in order to get the refund 

LET'S DO THIS

FAQ - Have you got questions? I’ve got answers.

I’m worried about my privacy and sharing in the group…

In order to protect the confidentiality of each member of our group program, I have created a Confidentiality Pledge that each of you will sign before the start of the course. I have strong experience facilitating groups both live and online and I am confident I can create a space where your feelings, contributions, and concerns will be valued and addressed. 

Will I need to make any additional investment in order to succeed…?

I will provide a list of resources from free to low cost and even exclusive. What you choose to continue with after the course is finished is up to you. The truth is that personal development around sex, love and dating is a lifetime endeavor. We are all works in progress. How you choose to move forward will be up to you.

I’m not in a relationship right now, can I still benefit from the course?

Actually while you are single you have the chance to work on yourself and come into a new understanding of what you want your love life to look like moving forward. If you are single when you begin the course I would suggest that you hold off on dating until our 6 weeks together are finished.

And if I do have a partner?

I will address how you can do the work on your own and bring that into your current alliance. This work can often enlighten and improve a relationship even if our partners are not doing the work with us. My experience has been that when even one person changes, the entire dynamic of their relationships change as well. Truth. 

What if I can’t afford the course right now?

Can you afford to have another year of heartbreak, disappointment, exhaustion and disillusionment? The cost of doing one to one therapy, even for 6 weeks, would be much greater. In fact 6 weeks of one to one coaching with me is a value of $1500.00. I believe wholeheartedly in the quality of what I have to offer because I have seen the transformation that is possible.

WHEN is the course taking place? 

This course is presented entirely remotely and so we do the best we can to schedule the live portion in a way that will accommodate as many time zones as possible. NEW DATES ADDED, our Wednesday cohort's live calls will run for 6 consecutive weeks on Wednesdays at 6pm - 7:30pm CET (Paris time)

Dufflyn is an incredible resource and held space
so that I felt safe in a sacred container

- Caelin, California, USA

Dufflyn Lammers

Dufflyn Lammers, AKA “The cool aunt who took you to Rehab and Planned Parenthood but made you tell your mom,” is the go-to relationship expert for women in recovery.

Lammers is the founder of www.rockrelationshipsinrecovery.com where she offers online courses, an online community, and one-to-one coaching for women who want to succeed at sex, love and dating without resorting to tequila, Ben & Jerry’s or *69. She combines a unique background in Tantra, Attachment Repair, Intervention and Coaching to help women create optimum relational wellbeing.

She spent the first 12 years of her own recovery single until at last she met her match. It was a long, hard, painful road for her. But it doesn’t have to be for you! Her mission is to be the coach she would have wished for back then. Of course once she met her match she realized the relationship was not the destination, it was the beginning of a whole new journey. Listen, it takes courage to look deeply at ourselves and allow ourselves to show up fully. And, if we want true intimacy that is what it takes.

She has the best Frida Kahlo costume you’ve ever seen, a self-described “hyena laugh,” and can often be found wandering the streets of Paris looking for Hellman’s Mayonnaise.